Circuit boy-

Tomorrow morning I am delivering my first ever eulogy - wish me luck!

I just told my bff that I'm ready, I have my speech written (which my entire family fears is too long-ha!), and I'm kind of excited. It feels like a big honor!

Despite the fact that I'm going a little more casual than my bro and pops, I'm even looking forward to the event. I take my job seriously, and always have. I've always been the one in the family who could make people laugh, and cut through the tension with a slick one liner to change the tone.

As much as I want to be respectful, I want this to be a memorial of her life-not a somber day only focusing on her death. And I think that I can help guide people back to the celebrating her life end of the spectrum. I'm ready!

And it is especially important to me as this will be the first time I am meeting some friends of the family, of at least the first time since my transition. And rather than panicking about the potential awkwardness of this endeavor, I want to face it head on-with courage, valore, and charm.

People can be freaked out that I used to be Lani, but it doesn't change the fact that I am now Will. And they will only be as freaked out as I let them be. What if my own self-assuredness and contentment could put everyone else at ease? What if I could dazzle them with the person I've become, rather than fear they will be disgusted by me, or embarrassed for me?

I want to be like the Dog Whisperer of funerals-or at least potentially uncomfortable family gatherings post-transitioning! I wanna be that alpha that sets the tone, and makes everyone else feel safe enough to follow suit. I'm ready. I'm ready to be *that guy* because I already am him...

I used to have a backwards fear of being in a crowd-not of speaking in front of people. I was terrified of being a peer at a conference or big special event, but I was fine being on stage or speaking in front of groups. Ass-backwards, I know. It must speak my both my former paralyzing insecurities AND my narcissism, simultaneously!

So, I actually feel fine about speaking in front of this congregation, these family members and strangers. It's the chatting and introductions part that I'd rather dodge. But I know I'll be fine. I'll be funny, charming, insightful, sentimental, and inclusive. I think I was born to write eulogies!

I was just joking with my bff that after this I wanna hit the funeral circuit writing impromptu eulogies off the cuff. I think it would help my writing and my character development immensely! Afterall- what's the point of a eulogy? Not only to honor the recently departed, but to remind us of the riches in life, and the marrow still present to nourish us into our own old ages...

It'd be like "Wedding Crashers," but a little more macabre!

But I think everyone should write at least one eulogy or obituary in their life. Maybe their own, and see how they would want to sum up their experiential knowledge.

So-what would you say in yours???

Well, god help me tomorrow-I think I'll be fine. My only fear is that I'll get a severe case of Frankenstein legs while walking up to the pulpit. Lord help me!!!

Wish me luck, yo- all the best, Willz