Friday, December 4, 2009

The spectacle of it all...


Nebb

I think I forgot to mention how I was basically heckled at my own birthday party. A bunch of folks mentioned that they liked my new specs, and we got to chatting. My old roommate, Michael, who was in attendance, just purchased the same small indie brand (Moscot), the same style (Nebb), but got the Olive color I was considering for sunglasses. It was humorous because he and I own many of the same exact clothes, apparently have similar taste in women (insert nervous cough here ____), and now have the same eyewear. Man, I guess there is something to that demography stuff, egh?

Next thing I knew, everyone at my party wanted to try on my new specs. (I guess I should mention here that I am very defensive about my horrible vision. In third grade I accidentally looked at the sun with high powered binoculars when trying to look at a visible full moon in the middle of the afternoon. In my elementary science class we were studying the planets, hence my astronomical interests. But while scanning the sky, I briefly bypassed the sun, and literally could not see for three minutes. I'm no Opthamologist, but... It may not be a coincidence that within weeks, I began wearing spectacles. My vision has gotten worse since then, with an especially bad astigmatism. A stigmata?!?)

So, as my friends tried on my specs, each and every one of them made comments about how bad my vision is... Uh, duh! I've already admitted that fact, so do we need to continue? Apparently, they did. Every fucking one. Thanks, guys! Happy fricken birthday to me!

After they finished mocking my impaired sight, somehow they switched over to the topic of my car. My friend Danni started going off about how much she misses my Audi, and how I really made a mistake when I opted to downgrade with the current economy. All of my friends went off about how 'special' they felt when I'd come to pick them up in my Audi A4 Quattro, and how much the heated leather seats spoiled them rotten. My new car has heated leather seats, a Bose six speaker sound system with a six cd changer, an auxilary tuner to synch to my iPhone, etc. But it's not my Audi...

I felt like I was wearing a "kick me" sign. WTF? My 34 birthday party turned into a spontaneous roast. God, no wonder why I'm single. With friends like these...

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