Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thunder Snow

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Have you heard about this??? I live in DC, and yesterday all of the meteorologists kept throwing around the term "Thunder Snow." WTF? Apparently, they believe that this 8" to 400 million inches of snow we might be getting today could possibly bring some thunder with it. They are calling it "Thunder Snow." Great!

It's good to know that the up and coming 'next generation' of meteorologists are actually younger than me, and were psyched to start coining new weather terminology based on their favorite cartoons growing up. Next week will be the "Smurfy Tsunami," and the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Tornado" ripping across Kansas, taking out only the evil megalomaniacs, petty criminals, and alien invaders. (Honestly, I had no clue what the TMNT's did. I had to look it up on Wikipedia to see if they were good guys or bad guys. Huh.)

It looks beautiful outside, but considering that I have to leave the house for a few client visits today, I am a little nervous about getting around in this downright lazy city when it comes to their inclimate weather upkeep. DC duct tapes a few orange plastic shovels to the front of two trash trucks, and call it their "winter weather maintenance crew." Nice, guys... Nice.

I grew up in New England, went to college in Vermont, where it snows nine months out of the year. One would think that being exposed to that much snow constantly might increase the risks of accidents and such by the residents of said snowy northern villages. It snows like twice a year here, and never as heavily or badly as in New England, and the whole city shuts down. You'd think that having ample time to prepare for precipitation the other 340 days of the year might give DC a head start. But no... The federal government shuts down, the entire metro area juts into a tizzy, and people flock to stores to buy out necessities like cookies and magazines.

(I ran into my next door neighbor last night before the snow started and we got to chatting it up about the incoming storm. She asked if I was "getting ready" for the snow, as she was toting all of these bags from Target. She seemed puzzled when I said I wasn't that phased by this stuff. To be honest, I was out trying to finish the last of my gardening that I had procrastinated for forever, with weeks of unending rain. I put down more mulch, cleaned up the last of the leaves, etc. She was the one who tipped me off to the Thundercats movement. While looking at the multiple bags she was carrying, I jokingly asked if she bought them out of milk and bread. "Hell, no! I went and bought booze, and considered buying a video camera to document this whole thing!" My kinda gal! Now I know where to go in the event of a *real* emergency! This is only a test. Had it been a real emergency...)

Speaking of ~ my ninny of a pit bull took one look outside, and rethought his need to frolic in this snow dunes of our backyard. While I was staring out trying to decipher just how many inches of snow had already fallen since 10pm last night, my wussy killer pup stood by my side, also staring out into the white, vast beyond... I looked down at him, ready to give him some totally concocted pep talk to rush us both down the back steps to relieve himself, and then run back inside. But I noticed he seemed shorter than usual. When I took a closer look, he had already decided to squat, and peed right there on my back porch. Fucker! I then had to figure out how to hose it down, mid snow storm. I'm getting that dog some Depends. Or a catheter.

Well, it's getting late, so I supposed I should be on my way! Wish me luck out there in this winter wonder-thunderthighs-snowcapped metropolis!

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