TCB

I mean: Takin' care of business – not to be confused with "The Country's Best Yogurt," (TCBY). Do they even still have those anymore?

Things have been kind of hectic since I got back into town. I made the mistake of hiring a friend of mine to help out over the holidays for the pet care company I manage. We kept getting complaints from our clients after my friend's visits, and each time I had to have a chat with her. We were so under staffed during the holidays with both an influx of additional clients needing our assistance, and our permanent staffers needing subs for their ongoing routes while they went off to visit their families. All of this to say: we nervously had my friend help out, and it may have been more of a hassle than it was worth.

The tough part for me is my own stupid pride, and my ego getting in the way. I have been *feeling* like her bad choices have inadvertently made me look bad, and have tarnished our company's brand and reputation. With that many complaints, and so many uncomfortable conversations I have had to brooch with said friend, it pushed me to the point of getting pissed off. I have worked my butt off to lobby for her, and to get her opportunities for employment and affordable housing in the city, and to *feel* like she did a half assed job in her responsibilities with both. It *feels* like her lack of attention to detail was almost flippant, and disrespectful, or at least lacking the minimal amount of common sense.

Having to kiss the clients' asses, and apologize repeatedly to my boss have proven to be frustrating, and understandably embarrassing. It sucks. What a lesson in humility! It has taught me to trust my instincts about people, and not always give people the benefit of the doubt when they give me hints and suggestions that more problems may be around the corner. I gave my friend repeated chances because she claimed to be desperate for cash, and I side stepped my gut instinct in trying to find more support from our current staffers. I have to take responsibility for the bad decisions I've made, and the ones that my boss and I discussed prior to our offering her more temporary work.

I say all of this now, despite it being completely unrelated to the specific topic of dating, because it made me realize so much about myself, and how I need to stand up to be the man worth being. I need to trust myself more, and not override my sensibility just to placate a friend claiming to be in distress. It should have been a red flag, and when it was, I didn't turn a blind eye, but rather, held my breath and hoped for the best. How dumb was that? I wasn't being a good manager because I was trying to be a good friend. But when my friend did a bad job, it felt like she was being a bad friend, and highlighting my bad managerial skills for hiring her in the first place.

There is a new wave in management theory emphasizing our individual strengths and knowing how to best negotiate them, as opposed to former theories that we need to improve upon our worst traits to not be a detriment to our projects. I'm not convinced that it's one versus the other, but today helped me better understand what exactly are my fortes and foibles.

In general, I have a pretty intense, acute attention to detail. It is what makes me good at my job, and what made me successful while studying Conflict Resolution, working as a Producer in the Film and Video world, and as an Event Planner in various fields. I try to focus on the greater needs of a given situation, while simultaneously trying to predict whatever set backs may surface, and what work-arounds may help seal the deal. Former co-workers joked that I should be a detective, or work in forensics with such an eye for detail. (I saw Sherlock Holmes last night, and thought it could be a cool life, if only we had to permanently wear Victorian duds...)

But seriously – I am starting to understand how to best put some of my better features to use professionally, and how I want to work on some "self-development" to shed the layers that aren't doing me any favors.

I think this is what growing up must be about, and how we slowly settle in to our roles as adults. Funny how a good friend and bad employee can be that kind of wake up call. Back to work... There's always something, right?!?