I think my life accidentally has taken on the 'Jack Tripper' effect. In my past post, I joked about the stress of figuring out what clothing to wear on my 'heterosexual' date with a woman to ensure that I would look as manly and straight as possible. It's a bit dicey for me.
When I was a kid I loved Three's Company, but never did I fathom it would take on a foreshadowing affect in my life. I am surrounded by female friends, struggle in the dating scene because of my ambiguous sexuality, once considered going to culinary school, and wanted to own my own restaurant someday, etc. Little did I know back then it would be a parallel life.
I wonder how it seems to new people that I meet that so many of my closest friends are women. One the one hand, I think it does make me seem 'gayer' than I am, while on the other hand, I fear that it makes me seem noncommittal, like I refuse to settle down with the right one. I dunno.
There are so many elements to juggle in this new life of mine – so many layers to contemplate into infinity. Is it bad that I just don't want to think for a while, and just want to live, and try things out? I don't want to have to over-examine every fastidious detail of each interaction. Things like trying to look away when female joggers run by so that it won't seem confrontational if I look at them in their workout clothes. Or when I go in to hug a woman hello or goodbye, making sure my lean in with my shoulders, while keeping our hips apart mid-hug, so I won't seem like Mr. Groper.
There is so much to learn, and I am one of those idiots who is so hyper aware of everything, I believe it's my responsibility to learn everything I can immediately. Can I just play dumb, and pretend not to notice anything?
Why can't my life just have inane antics set to a prescribed laugh-track where everything is resolved in 22 minutes? Anyone care to join me for a fictional drink at the Regal Beagle?
When I was a kid I loved Three's Company, but never did I fathom it would take on a foreshadowing affect in my life. I am surrounded by female friends, struggle in the dating scene because of my ambiguous sexuality, once considered going to culinary school, and wanted to own my own restaurant someday, etc. Little did I know back then it would be a parallel life.
I wonder how it seems to new people that I meet that so many of my closest friends are women. One the one hand, I think it does make me seem 'gayer' than I am, while on the other hand, I fear that it makes me seem noncommittal, like I refuse to settle down with the right one. I dunno.
There are so many elements to juggle in this new life of mine – so many layers to contemplate into infinity. Is it bad that I just don't want to think for a while, and just want to live, and try things out? I don't want to have to over-examine every fastidious detail of each interaction. Things like trying to look away when female joggers run by so that it won't seem confrontational if I look at them in their workout clothes. Or when I go in to hug a woman hello or goodbye, making sure my lean in with my shoulders, while keeping our hips apart mid-hug, so I won't seem like Mr. Groper.
There is so much to learn, and I am one of those idiots who is so hyper aware of everything, I believe it's my responsibility to learn everything I can immediately. Can I just play dumb, and pretend not to notice anything?
Why can't my life just have inane antics set to a prescribed laugh-track where everything is resolved in 22 minutes? Anyone care to join me for a fictional drink at the Regal Beagle?
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