Obamanos

Okay, this may be a total stretch, but what the hell...

I was talking to a friend the other day about her recent ex, and she was going off about how he never had her back, and could never follow through with anything. It ranged from simple things around the house, to more emotional support that she felt was lacking in their union. I got to thinking...

People have been criticizing President Obama in the media as of late because of his soft approach to the health care issue. People on the left are saying that if he wanted dramatic changes that he should have started off in a more extreme stance to then negotiate down to a more moderate consensus. Others are saying had he done so, the folks on the right would have shot him down completely, and perhaps no progress would have been made at all.

As I step back, I reflect more deeply on these criticisms, having studied Conflict Resolution in college, focusing on mediation and negotiation. In part, I think some of the reasons many of us voted for Obama was the fact that he was a team player. He projected an sense of reserved self confidence, and an openness to listening to the other facets of any conversation. Nothing seemed to bug this guy. He was unshakable. (He was like the father I always wished I had, never mind the Presidential post.)

But looking closer, I think many of us felt like Obama had our backs, not only as a semi-divided nation, but also intrinsically on the individual levels – like he really wanted each and every one of us to be safe, content, and healthy. Man, I like that guy. But then when it came to health care, people we slamming him that he wasn't tough enough on the opposition, and that he would lose his footing if he didn't step up. They claimed that he needed to be more "ballsey." And I started to see some of the newlywed phase wearing off.

Obama didn't disappoint me, as I studied negotiation, and I understood why he took that path. But when seeing it as a metaphor, I think others believed that he started to cower or pander to the extreme right. In short, I think people feared that he wouldn't have our backs if it came down to it.

And here's the stretch, so bare with me:

I think we had a sort of collective romance with Obama. We, as a country, wanted him to be that idealized boyfriend, that was paternal at times, fraternal at other times, funny, loving and tender, but who ultimately listened to us, protected us, and got stuff done around our metaphorical houses.

We wanted someone who was brave and mindful, who would inspire us to find our own sense of courage in our modest, little lives. And I think that some people felt let down, that our nationalistic boyfriend let the bullies talk smack without a sufficient crack down. People complained that he was being "too nice" and allowed himself to be pushed around by conservatives with their agendas of attack. Food for thought.

All of this to say, I think I am learning more about what people want in a leader, and in a partner by watching how all of this plays out. It's like when Gore lost the public opinion when he sighed at the idiocy displayed by Bush in that one informal debate. Housewives didn't want yet another annoyed man being impatient, while they seemed perfectly used to being surrounded by dumb guys who didn't make any sense.

It's like the political arena is the ultimate reality dating show. I see now why it takes such a precedence.