Last night I tried to go to a friend's birthday dinner in the U St area of DC. It's an urban hot spot in this city, chock full of trendy restaurants, bars and the like. I dropped the birthday girl off, as I foolishly tried to find parking. As I kept circling the area, observing all of the adoring couples out for a night on the town, or groups of friends happily socializing my heart kind of sank.
I used to live over there, in that more urban locale, and found myself mourning elements of my old life. I was remembering the feeling I had when I thought I had found the love of my life, and the jaunts over to this place or that for a late dinner, or drinks at a sidewalk cafe. So much has changed since then. It was tough feeling like in some ways I felt farther away from what I thought I wanted.
Overall, I'm really content with my life. I truly enjoy my job, and how much freedom it grants me to be creative, writing so much and submitting articles here and there. My circles of friends are incredible, and add such a depth and richness to my life that I hope to never lose. I love my home, my animals, and my supportive family. Mostly, it's all good. But after having a long term relationship with someone I thought was 'The One,' it's tough to just go back to casually dating. I'm not that great at it. I prefer quality over quantity, and don't need anymore notches on a metaphorical bed post. (My actual headboard is antique carved mahogany, so notches, nicks and scratches are to be prevented at all costs! heh...)
I miss sharing a life with someone, coming home to them, cooking dinners together, going on excursions to distant lands. As I write this now, I am realizing that I want to bypass the survey stages of getting to know someone, and just jump in to the middleness of a relationship. It doesn't seem to work like that. Damn it all!
So, maybe I need to be one of the socially inventive people, and have more nights on the town to find some potential beginnings that may someday turn into those majestic, amourous middles that I like so much. Maybe?
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