Um, well... There is a bunch of stuff running through my mind right now, and I'm feeling a little too distracted to try to focus completely. I'm just warning you: this posting is going to suck!
Okay, the truth is – I think I kinda like someone. I guess more to the point – I think I kinda like who I am around a certain someone. Have you ever felt that way? Where you are totally psyched to be around a new person, and you just have so much fun with them that there isn't even time to be insecure, or doubt yourself? Ya, I'm kind of in that zone right now.
I may not have a shot, but damn, it sure is fun to flirt and have someone make you feel like you are the only person in the world who can make them laugh like that. It's kind of an addictive feeling. And it sure beats this crap ass pity party that I've been throwing for myself these past few months.
It's been sort of amazing to remember that I am even capable of flirting. It's been so long, I thought I forgot. I think I am beginning to see that old spark that I used to have... The one that has apparently been dormant since I transitioned. Sad, but true.
I haven't laughed that much or that heartily in a long time. And I haven't felt like I rocked someone's world in an even longer time. Man, it feels pretty fucking good! I think this is how it's supposed to feel. Well, I mean in the early stages where no one has to admit anything, so no one has to feel nervous or potentially rejected. Still the fun part where you feel like a rock star. I used to be a charmer, but I think my fire went out for a while.
Slowly I think I may even be beginning to root for myself. Not even with this one particular woman, but just in general. I guess that's how it starts, right? We can only find what we want when we know we want it. (Right?)
I think I want to be someone worth rooting for... I think I'm almost ready to be someone worth knowing, and worth wanting to know better. And maybe, just maybe, this will all slowly evolve into becoming someone worth dating, and maybe (dream the impossible dream) becoming someone worth staying with...
(So, please pardon my extreme grammatical errors, dangling participles and the like, as I forewarned you that this was not going to be well written... But who doesn't love their participles dangling? Wait, that came out wrong-)
I guess you could call this hope... Man, how I've missed it.
Okay, the truth is – I think I kinda like someone. I guess more to the point – I think I kinda like who I am around a certain someone. Have you ever felt that way? Where you are totally psyched to be around a new person, and you just have so much fun with them that there isn't even time to be insecure, or doubt yourself? Ya, I'm kind of in that zone right now.
I may not have a shot, but damn, it sure is fun to flirt and have someone make you feel like you are the only person in the world who can make them laugh like that. It's kind of an addictive feeling. And it sure beats this crap ass pity party that I've been throwing for myself these past few months.
It's been sort of amazing to remember that I am even capable of flirting. It's been so long, I thought I forgot. I think I am beginning to see that old spark that I used to have... The one that has apparently been dormant since I transitioned. Sad, but true.
I haven't laughed that much or that heartily in a long time. And I haven't felt like I rocked someone's world in an even longer time. Man, it feels pretty fucking good! I think this is how it's supposed to feel. Well, I mean in the early stages where no one has to admit anything, so no one has to feel nervous or potentially rejected. Still the fun part where you feel like a rock star. I used to be a charmer, but I think my fire went out for a while.
Slowly I think I may even be beginning to root for myself. Not even with this one particular woman, but just in general. I guess that's how it starts, right? We can only find what we want when we know we want it. (Right?)
I think I want to be someone worth rooting for... I think I'm almost ready to be someone worth knowing, and worth wanting to know better. And maybe, just maybe, this will all slowly evolve into becoming someone worth dating, and maybe (dream the impossible dream) becoming someone worth staying with...
(So, please pardon my extreme grammatical errors, dangling participles and the like, as I forewarned you that this was not going to be well written... But who doesn't love their participles dangling? Wait, that came out wrong-)
I guess you could call this hope... Man, how I've missed it.
No comments:
Post a Comment