One of my closest friends in DC owns her own boutique, and also moonlights at another retail shoppe a few blocks away. She and I had a 'spa day' yesterday, followed by lunch. The two of us having been trying to catch up weekly, as I give her updates about my dating life, and the related epiphanies that flood my consciousness daily.
Over lunch I was telling her some of the latest news from my life, and it got both of us laughing. She immediately jumped in with some tales from her own life. Even though she is getting married in a few weeks, men relentlessly hit on her at the various stores, and she wanted to share some of her insights. It was like some off the cuff sociological study about the dating rituals of heterosexual urban males with a hankering for vintage clothes and fine foods. Fascinating.
Danni told me story after story of these brazen men who assumed her eye contact and offers of assistance meant that she was interested in them. Slyly, she would allude to her fiance if the guys continued with their pursuit. But it was interesting... Despite her thinking that many of these guys were douchebags, she admitted that there was something about their confidence, their direct candor, that was attractive. She would never accept any of these offers, even if she wasn't engaged, but gladly shared her advice about which techniques I should start employing.
Suggestions ranged from: be more confident, act more self assured, make more eye contact, ask a lot of questions, ask for help with things, smile more, be direct – to the bold selections like ask when you can see her again, ask what she's doing after work, ask what she's doing after that, ask if you can take her out this weekend, etc. Danni also told me to "start practicing asking everyone out." Our waitress came back to refill our beverages and suddenly I was prodded into thinking I was being resistant cuz I had no interest in asking out literally the first person who crossed my path. Don't get me wrong, our waitress was perfectly nice, but my interests lie elsewhere. And trying to take a little time to absorb these new modes of approach.
Hmmm. So, now that I've added these tips to my amorous arsenal, watch out – I just might be the 'secret shopper' at a store near you.
Over lunch I was telling her some of the latest news from my life, and it got both of us laughing. She immediately jumped in with some tales from her own life. Even though she is getting married in a few weeks, men relentlessly hit on her at the various stores, and she wanted to share some of her insights. It was like some off the cuff sociological study about the dating rituals of heterosexual urban males with a hankering for vintage clothes and fine foods. Fascinating.
Danni told me story after story of these brazen men who assumed her eye contact and offers of assistance meant that she was interested in them. Slyly, she would allude to her fiance if the guys continued with their pursuit. But it was interesting... Despite her thinking that many of these guys were douchebags, she admitted that there was something about their confidence, their direct candor, that was attractive. She would never accept any of these offers, even if she wasn't engaged, but gladly shared her advice about which techniques I should start employing.
Suggestions ranged from: be more confident, act more self assured, make more eye contact, ask a lot of questions, ask for help with things, smile more, be direct – to the bold selections like ask when you can see her again, ask what she's doing after work, ask what she's doing after that, ask if you can take her out this weekend, etc. Danni also told me to "start practicing asking everyone out." Our waitress came back to refill our beverages and suddenly I was prodded into thinking I was being resistant cuz I had no interest in asking out literally the first person who crossed my path. Don't get me wrong, our waitress was perfectly nice, but my interests lie elsewhere. And trying to take a little time to absorb these new modes of approach.
Hmmm. So, now that I've added these tips to my amorous arsenal, watch out – I just might be the 'secret shopper' at a store near you.
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