My last post was about my grandfather, and it brings up a valuable point: Transitioning 'later' in life can theoretically make one miss out on the learning curve of adolescence. It's much more appropriate to be a nervous, idiotic mess at the same time your peers are... Teenage years, and maybe even up until the mid 20s are 'made' for melodramatic bullshit, of sleeping with your friends, with your partners' friends, with being too huffy, or not emotive enough. All of it. But when you are in your thirties and sort of have to start all over again where you're put in a new paradigm, it can cause a bit of embarrassment of one's self, but also some shock and awe.
The thing is, I'm envious of guys that had dads who would take them fishing and tell them stories of how they came to learn this or that. My dad and I didn't get along much while I was growing up. Slowly, we've been trying to work on it, but it's a little too late for some of the developmental stages I have since bypassed. I'm jealous of guys who got to learn how to be a better man from their older brothers, or favorite uncles, or close cousins, etc. I'm on my own, and it shows...
I think about my grandfather, and how I wish I could mimic his mad dating skills at this stage of my life, and I'm sad. Then I think about my father, who met my mother in their sophomore year in high school, and they've been together ever since. Clearly the guy must know something about relationships, how to sustain romance, and the whole gamut, right? There must be something for me to learn from him.
And then I remember that my *mom* asked him to a Sadie Hawkins' Dance, and that is what prompted their dating. So, it goes without saying that I was a much better flirt pre-transition like my mom, and now that the T has settled in nicely for the past three years – I must take after my father.
I'm screwed!!! (Too bad my mom wasn't a lesbian, or I could put some of her dating advice to good use...)
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